Holy balls to the walls that was EXTREME! This movie looks like it will kick all sorts of ass. You have two of the premier movie/action stars in film history sharing the screen, you have Olivia Wilde looking all sorts of frisky (she is also starring in the new Tron movie - she looks poised for a big year), and you have some aliens blowing up blacksmiths, six shooters, outlaws, and rawhides from here to the Oregon Trail. It looks like of the buzz on Cowboys & Aliens is well warranted. I'll be in line come July for this one.

Next up....

We all remember Bill Nye "The Science Guy" the delightfully quirky man with the lab coat who would show us how to make experiments that pissed off our parents and led us onto the world of amateur bomb making. He always seemed like a great guy and who doesn't love a children's television show host? Well the students of USC I guess.
    Last night, Nye was delivering a speech at the school when he suddenly fainted mid-sentence. Now you would think the students would be rushing to his aid, giving him water, whatever; it's Bill Nye for God's sake! Wouldn't you help Bob Ross if he started pounding his chest and fell to the floor?
   But what did these little pukes do? They pulled out their cell phones and began updating their Twitter accounts. Yeah, that's right, they tweeted. So these kids are attending a renowned college, at an institution that's supposed to mold these young minds into valuable members of society. I guess a valuable member of society doesn't involve having any sympathy for another human being anymore. Being valuable just means being another corporate drone, unable to get wrapped up in anyone else's problems, preferring to be technologically literate rather than have any decency. Maybe I'm just ranting (well I am) but this is pretty awful and if I were a member of the older generation I would be sickened...but then I'd remember where this trash generation learned their values from.
   
It's times like these that I wish we would all run out of electricity. No more tweets, no more facebook, wouldn't life be frighteningly wonderful? This USC student would have no chance.

And I do realize the irony that I'm dishing out cultural tsk-tsks while there is a cartoon piece of poo beside the article. Go ahead and tweet about it.

-Big Sus

By the way, I named this blog that tongue-twister because Grayson and Bieber are so hot right now, anything with their names in a search trend will show up and hopefully kick back here! Grayson! Bieber! Grayson Chance! Justin Bieber! Justin Mindwafers Bieber Mind Greyson Chance Wafers!

Anyway, the above video is a one Greyson Chance, the thirteen year you-tube phenom who first captured the nation's bile with his hijacked, little kid version of Lady Gaga's paparazzi. You can see that disgusting clip here. Well, in the tiny shoes of Justin Bieber, this online sensation has catapulted into mainstream. He has a record deal and appeared live on the Ellen DeGeneres Show today to perform his newest single "Waiting Outside The Lines." He appears on the verge of Bieber-esquely BLOWING UP.

The question I pose to you now is, has Greyson Chance out-Biebered Bieber? Is he now the new hot, young tween idol and is Justin Bieber old news? You bet your ass! Justin Bieber is what, 16? He's way past his prime. His voice has cracked, he's got hair under his pits and sprouting on his balls. He's drinking Mountain Dew and energy drinks. It's already over for him. There's no way he can recapture that youthful spry that Greyson Chance oozes. Greyson is still on milk, still on velcro shoes, still belives in Santa Claus, and still has that wholesome innocence that Bieber pissed away when he hit puberty. So, hell yes, Greyson Bieber has out-Biebered Bieber. It's only a matter of time before TMZ finds Justin Bieber stoned off pixie stix at the local Discovery Zone, drowning in a ball pit, screaming about the good old days of 2009.

-Reece


ps. Who the fuck is this kid? Seriously have I been asleep for this whole year? I thought Greyson Chance was a comic book when I first heard about him.

Yes we're kinda of late to the party on this one, but much like Tim and Eric, we smoke a lot of pot and take a lot of naps. But as founding members of the Tim & Eric Awesome Show Fan Club - Merrimack Valley Chapter, we felt obligated to bring a possible injustice to light. A month ago, Saturday Night Live featured a sketch with host Amy Poehler and Kristin Wiig that poked fun at tiny hats, which kind of hit the mark, but if it seemed a bit familiar, you're not alone: Tim and Eric Awesome Show had a very similiar style sketch that also featured tiny hats, only this sketch was over three years ago. That's right - grand theft comedy!

As with all comedy criminal investigations, we need to consult the video tape. Here is the SNL sketch:

And here is the strikingly similiar Tim & Eric sketch.....

Now, far be it for us to insinuate that Saturday Night Live would go ahead and steal from another comedy team or show. Tim and Eric Awesome and SNL are two vastly different style of comedy shows, and the PC landscape that now occupies 30 Rockerfeller Plaza is a far cry from the drunk-and-coked up, up-all-night writing binges that SNL used to have in its 70s and 80s heydey. SNL is like Tim and Eric Awesome Show's older, married, kind of whipped cousin who used to be badass, smoking cigs under the deck and stealing booze for the liquor cabinet, but now, can only manage a funny joke or two at the dinner table while balancing a bitchy wife, a crappy mortgage and three kids. While Tim & Eric fully employs the up-late marijuana crowd, SNL is best saved for next day DVR.

But if we're being honest, let's all admit right now that funny hats are pretty damn funny no matter how you slice it. I mean something about a funny hat on a person's large dome piece tickles everybody pink. So did SNL steal the funny hats from Tim & Eric? Or are tiny hats just a gift to the comedy world that we are all allowed to use as we please?

-Reece

News broke this week that Zack Synder, director of 300, Watchmen and the upcoming Sucker Punch, has been tasked to helm the remake of the DC Comics' / Warner Bros. Superman franchise. Together with godfathers Chistopher Nolan, his brother Jonathan, and David S. Goyer, they are set to reimagine Earth's greatest super hero, who despite being the most recognized super hero in the world, has not received the greatest cinematic treatment as of late. As an maniacal Superman fan, I am super pumped that credibility has finally been brought back to the Superman film world. Nolan has revitalized the Batman world, erasing any memories of George Clooney fighting neon-haired weirdos with his Bat Nipples, and Alicia Silverstone fat-ing her way into a Batgirl suit alongside Chris O'Douchnell. I almost was able to block that movie abortion for my mind (except stuff like this keeps popping up on youtube.) The Man of Steel, a complete re-inventing of Superman, is slated to hit theaters in 2012.
 
I grew up reading Superman comics, and always thought that Superman in the 90s and 2000s really got pushed aside in the wave of the super hero movie explosion - here was Spiderman, X-Men, Iron Man, even freakin Ghost Rider, getting big screen CGI blockbuster popcorn flicks, while Superman was always languishing in "developmental hell." Superman finally got his shot in 2006 in the form of Superman Returns, a complete update and semi-prequel of the 70s and 80s classic Christopher Reeves Superman movies. The fanboy in me creamed his shorts the first time I saw that Superman Returns trailer play - Marlon Brando's haunting Jor-El voice, the updated shots of Superman flying across the sky, Kevin Spacey's slimy Lex Luthor mug, that iconic red cape. Finally here was Superman, here to push aside always these second tier super hero movies and truly kick some ass. The technology had finally caught up to produce the type of mesmerizing special effects for a Superman-type movie. Brandon Routh looked as close to a young Reeves as you could get. It was here, it was all going to be so perfect.

Presented below are two videos, one terrible and one pretty awesome, that kind of sums up my attitude toward the liberal community and also explains why a lot of people hate liberals (for the first video anyway).


Our first video comes courtesy of Code Pink's Medea Benjamin, who is actually a pretty decent and prolific writer. You see her stuff all over liberal sites like the Huff Post and Common Dreams and I do agree with a lot of what she says. In fact, you could say that I had a lot of respect for the woman. Keep in mind I said 'did.' For Benjamin threw all her credibility in the toilet when she premiered this 'rap' video on Youtube and Code Pink's website. While the message of the song is important, about Blackwater's (now XE) abuse of our tax dollars as well as whoever we're calling terrorists this week, the execution is just awful. Over a beat coming straight out of 1985, courtesy of Head-Roc (I don't know him either), Benjamin raps about as good as Dee Dee Ramone and Shaq having a freestyle battle, except more stiff. 


I really hate when white intellectuals do this ironic rap thing. You see it a lot on Saturday Night Live, the most recent example being Sarah Palin last year, which came out sounding very similar (maybe they can collab). It's not subversive or hip, since hip hop has been around for 30 years and isn't really the new kid on the block anymore, now being a major piece of our culture and fashion. Maybe next time, Benjamin can shout out a favela track in the middle of the Rio ghetto; then perhaps her message would get across. But in the meanwhile, we've got this:

Pretty bad, huh? Let me guess, you didn't make it past the first minute. Neither did I.


Now on the other side of things, here's an interesting video from the UK DJ crew, Above and Beyond, for their song, "On a Good Day." The video shows, documentary style, the efforts of one Detroit neighborhood turning an old, abandoned warehouse into a community garden. Unless Benjamin's video, there's nothing overtly political about the video. Instead, it's inspired and touching to watch these people living in a rough neighborhood change their surroundings into something positive. Take a look:

Really nice, right? Medea Benjamin should take some tips.


-Big Sus

Do you find yourself wondering if milk tastes different depending on which store they're bought? Or do you have an interest in tie organizing? Most of us would probably answer 'no' but if you didn't, perhaps you would be interested in "Boring 2010" the first annual festival of all things mundane.

The project began as a joke by a DVD distribution manager named James Ward, who lives in London. He thought up the idea in response to the "Interesting Conferences" that have been proliferating around the world in which obscure topics are covered by experts. After this year's Interesting Conference was canceled,  Ward figured that he would get a group of experts together for things that we never thought there were experts for, such as car park roof design. He used the almighty power of Twitter to announce the event. Even though the idea was a joke, Ward received a huge amount of feedback and offers to help from strangers. This push was all that he needed. Eventually, 200 afficianados of the 'boring' signed up and will lead presentations in subjects such as the history of dust, the purpose of the vending machines and a milk tasting event. The group also plans to play a simultaneous game of computer solitaire on a huge computer screen, complete with live commentary. 


Sound like a good time?


-Big Sus

I'd say every month or so I'll see a preview of the latest reality TV scam and ask myself, "how low will they go?" It reminds me of a great Patton Oswalt bit where he talks about reality producers running out of reality to film so they have to create life in the form of Hollywood blockbusters. So you would wake up, brush your teeth, then have to battle zombie ninjas. It looks as though that day may soon come, that reality producers have indeed ran out of reality to film.

That would be the only explanation for Bridalplasty, a new reality series set to premiere on the E! channel and, hopefully, will make us look at our own culture and collectively vomit onto what we have created. The show is a contest where women compete to see who will be the 'best bride' by engaging in such insane and insulting tasks as vow writing, honeymoon planning and convincing the police officer that you fell down the stairs and that he really loves you. The winner of this (but there really isn't any winner, right?) gets what every new bride wants; extreme plastic surgery! Yeah. 'Honey, it's so beautiful that we cemented our love for each other and will embark upon a long and loving journey. Now let's get our faces cut up!' The American dream!


I'm sincerely hoping that NO ONE watches this show and it gets  shoved back into the pits of hell from whence it came.


-Big Sus

Mindwafers would like to pour a very funny 40 out for Greg Giraldo, the hilarious comic and perrenial Comedy Central roaster, who died yesterday after an alleged prescription medicine overdose in New Jersey. Giraldo didn't have the star power or name recognition of a Jim Norton, Louie CK, or even Colin Quinn, but he was among those circles and a friend to many in the NY-East Coast comedy scene. He would always find a way to stand out during the Comedy Central Roasts of so-and-so, delivering cutting yet hilarious barbs at everyone from Pamela Anderson to David Hasselhoff. He also hosted Last Comic Standing this year. While his on-stage persona as a a rhythmic ranting everyman was well known, I was surprised to learn he actually attended Harvard law and worked as an associate for a bit of time before breaking into the comedy scene.

While best known for his Roast work, I think people forget about Giraldo's spoken word radio hit with lazyboy "Underwear Goes Inside The Pants", from 2006. Here it is....
 

RIP Greg. Between Farely, Belushi, Mitch Hedberg, George Carlin, Pryor, and Sam Kinison - Heaven is looking like a pretty funny place to be.


-Reece