 I’ve been nowhere to be found this whole playoffs” By Doza (email Doza)
Before KG left Adidas for the Chinese sneaker company, Anta, his favorite Adidas slogan was “Impossible is Nothing” (who can forget him screaming “Anything’s possible!!” after winning the 2008 Finals?). In this case, 3 straight wins would be something. 3 straight wins isn’t impossible; but it is improbable. Our backs are against the wall. Fight or flight. Win or go home. CelticsBlog tweeted a great Winston Churchill quote today: “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty”. The pessimist thinks Rondo’s arm has to be killing him, KG just shot 1 for 10, Big Baby looks like Robert “Tractor” Traylor (Rest in Peace), Shaq is a non-factor, the Heat have won 3 in a row in Miami against us and LeBron (fadeaway and three-pointer over Pierce) and D-Wade (three-pointer in OT) have hit every single big-money shot. The optimist is thinking like Kevin Millar in 2004 before Game 4 against the Yankees: “Don’t let us win tonight!”
By Doza (Email Doza)
When I saw Rondo land on the floor and his arm looked like something from Faces of Death I thought, “this is Armageddon for this Celtics season”. Little did I know, the C’s little man said “Imma gettin’ my ass back in the game!” When Rondo came back in the game, he might as well had his left hand in his pocket or with a Red Bull in it. He was a one-armed bandit making one-handed passes and dribbling all with his right hand. But it invigorated the Celtics squad and crowd, as we saw KG turn back the clock (28 points) and Pierce show the aggressiveness he has lacked earlier in the series (27 points, 12 of the first 23 points for the C’s).
This was more impressive than Willis Reed for the Knicks or Larry Bird coming back after banging his grill against the parquet floor. Every time Rondo had to use in his left dislocated arm in a minimum matter, the whole room cringed. If you didn’t flex your left arm back and forth a few times while watching Rondo steal the ball with his left hand (ouch!!), then go in for the uncontested layup.
If the Heat plan on killing the Celitcs, it’s gonna take more than D-Wade deliberately tackling our smallest player. Our smallest player may be aloof at times, but this 171 pound kid has a 70 pound heart.
Amidst all the Rondo rowdiness, KG showed why he’s called the Big Ticket. This is the best I’ve seen Garnett play since the 2nd Bush administration. 18 rebounds was impressive along with the points, but his attacking style was fun to watch. He actually backed Bosh down instead of fading away. He FINALLY got to the line (only once) after not shooting a free-throw the whole series.
The Heat are gonna need more than a fork to stick this Celtics team. I have no idea if Rondo can even play the rest of the playoffs, but the Big 3 ain’t going out like that, DWade, you punk ass BITCH!
Beware, the picture below is not Mother’s Day material.
By Doza (e-mail Doza) Now, the real fight begins. All the talk (shut up, Big Baby), anticipation and strategizing doesn’t matter, as the Celtics try to add one more chapter to this enjoyable era. LeBron has never beaten the Celtics in any playoff series (2008, 2010) and has won only 1 playoff game in TD Garden. Granted, he’s got the 4rd best player in the league, Wade (order is Kobe, LeBron, D-Howard, Wade) and the RuPaul of big men (put Shaq on my bibliography page, please) at his side, yet our confidence in our grizzly veterans should not wane. Besides Miami’s Big 3, what else they got? It’s like LeBron/Wade/Bosh are Gloria Estefan and the rest of the cast is the Miami Sound Machine. Who cared about the Miami Sound Machine? (sorry to anyone under 25 who doesn’t get this reference).
By Seagull (e-mail the Seagull) Back in March I predicted the Raiders would draft the fastest guy in the draft with a relatively high pick. Well I was off by a round, but never the less, old Al did it again when he selected Demarcus Van Dyke with the 21st pick of the 3rd round. Obviously I added that in there as an attempt at humor, but I was totally serious… Not that anybody should be impressed by this since this is what Oakland does- they draft the fastest player in the draft pretty much every year (despite the fact that this guy didn't even start for his college team). Regardless, I don’t think Mel Kiper is any better at this shit than I am and he gets inside information. So I’m coming for you Kiper… And I’m bringing your hair with me. You too McShay. Suck it…
So it’s that time of the year again. The NFL Draft is upon us, only this year it is shrouded in uncertainty. Will there be football? Will there be a lockout? While it seems last week’s ruling brought football back from the brink of cancellation, you can never say never with the way our country’s legal system goes. I half expected Gloria Allard to show up on behalf of the owners and convince some idiot judge that football is unconstitutional and should be banned altogether. All I know is, if I am forced to no longer have the ability to get out of girly things with my fiancée on Sunday by using the greatest excuse ever invented for men: “Sorry baby the [fill in name of your team] are playing”, then I will not be a happy camper.
So without further adieu, it’s time for the Mindwafers 2nd Annual NFL Draft Diary. They may be no football but if there’s a draft, we’re gonna make fun of it! We have assembled the finest and angriest football minds on staff and actually got them together in one room - that’s right, Angry Artie and Rex Payne. How did we land such superstars? Artie’s bed time is approximately 11pm these days and Payne is on a work release program, but for the NFL draft, the stars have aligned and they are here to make fun of some soon to be millionaires....
 This thing works in Philadelphia, right? By Mike (e-mail Mike)
Here’s a story I thought I’d never write, especially following a first round playoff series, but as of today, April 28, 2011, I am officially proud of the Bruins. After being let down time and time again, I’ve come to expect a colossal meltdown to end a perfectly good season, after all, It’s Called Bruins! Being just old enough to have caught the Cam Neeley/Ray Borque years, my time as a Bruins fan began in the early 90’s. Things were looking good in those days, but the next decade was the definition of the word futility, being capped off by trading Ray Borque for a bag of pucks because we felt bad for him, and then actually holding a parade for the Stanley Cup he finally won…with Colorado.
By Doza (email Doza)
If you misssed Doza's recap on the Celtics-Knicks series, click here!
Seeing old Red Sox eye candy Tina Cervasio working for MSG Network had me thinking…was she the hottest sideline reporter/sportscaster in Boston Sports history? #5 Kathryn Tappen - NESN SportsDesk & studio host for Boston Bruins games Yeah, it’s cute that she pretends to know what she’s talking about with the Bruins. Mike Millbury and Barry Pederson kind of carry her. The girl next door look is nice, but she doesn’t have the spice that the chicks below have.
By Doza (email Doza)
The Switch Is On!
The Celtics flipped the preverbal “switch” last night like Andrew Ference flipped off the Montreal faithful (FYI, the original name of Montreal was Ville-Marie, which sensibly translates in English to City of Mary). Ray-Ray tied the all-time playoff record of eight 3-pointers (his own record from Game 2 of last year’s Finals), Rondo tied a Celtics playoff record with 20 dimes (I rewinded that up and under layup 5 times) and Pierce dropped a dominating 38 points seemingly all from the top of the key. The undermanned Knicks could only sit and watch as the Celts took a commanding 3-0 series lead.
By Seagull (e-mail the Seagull)
If you’re a Patriots honk like me, don’t walk, run to the television to watch ESPN’s Year of the Quarterback . It’s Patriots porn like you read about… Truthfully I got a little weepy during the last few minutes when they break down Brady’s shitty scouting report while at the same time showing clips of him doing all the things in the NFL they said he couldn’t do coming out of college. I know he’s a fucking millionaire pretty boy superstar who impregnates actresses and supermodels like it’s going out of style, but it’s hard not to root for a guy who proved everybody wrong. I mean say what you want about him, but he earned everything he’s got.
By Doza (email Doza)
Admittedly, the season did not end emitting a warm-n-fuzzy feeling. Actually, it gave me secondhand embarrassment seeing Big Baby try to do too much, Rondo disappear for quarters and Jeff Green play like a 3rd grader trying not to upset the cool kids in class. That secondhand embarrassment is directed at Danny Ainge.
But, the regular season is over, and the real season begins. The Celtics easily have the most difficult road to the NBA Finals as they would potentially play Carmelo/Amar’e, then LeBron/D-Wade, then D-Rose & Co, then Kobe & Co (press panic button now). First things first. Clear your mind of the Kendrick “Bill Russell” Perkins-gate and enjoy a rivalry refreshed.
The Knicks and Celtics have met the NBA playoffs six times in history. The series is tied at 3-3, although they haven’t ran into each other since the Knicks beat the C’s 3 games to 2 in 1990 (when Rick Pitino coached up a young Patrick Ewing and Charles Oakley and used the full court press successfully. This would never work these days in the NBA because a) these cats smoke way too much weed, b) these cats make was too much money to hustle for 94 feet). The parallels of these 2 franchises are impeccable. Based on the teams histories, let’s see who has the edge...
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