 The opposite of my high school experience By Big Sus (Email Sus)
I've seen at least four articles featuring the phrase "Teen Porn" in its headline this month, possibly a new record. Unfortunately, it isn't as exciting as it sounds. Rather, they're referring to Skins, a show currently airing on MTV that's been under a lot of pressure as of late from several parent groups across the country. I'm wondering when these censorship groups will realize that they only make their targets more popular. For anyone who hasn't seen or heard of it, Skins is a kind of day in the life soap opera about a group of American teens who do what most real-life teens do, namely, smoke, drink, do drugs and have sex. Oh, and they go to school. So what's so shocking about the show? Nothing really, but apparently the uncomfortable truth that teens smoke, drink and do drugs is uncomfortable for some people to handle. I guess they feel that MTV should be more responsible and go back to showing awful Jersey twenty-somethings getting drunk and teenage girls getting pregnant.
By Harvey (email Harvey)
Seriously, who doesn’t love food? To me, food is on my top 3 list of “things I enjoy” and if you’re like me, someone who lives to eat, your number 1 monthly expense, other than rent, is groceries. The average family of 3 spends about $7,000 a year or almost $600 a month on grocery bills.
By NewsBot3000 (Email NewsBot)
Despite our recent focus on events going on in the Middle East, it turns out that we, the United States, are still actually at war not too far away from there. Last year, we started paying a little attention to that whole war thing but apparently our attention wavered. Too much sand maybe. Today it was revealed that Afghan security is at its worst conditions since the Taliban were overthrown 10 years ago. Those sharp readers will realize that that means that, in 10 years we've basically accomplished nothing. After $380 billion dollars spent and over 2,000 deaths, security is no better and the government in charge of Afghanistan is just as corrupt as the Taliban were. Tribalism has taken over and women are subject to the same discrimination as they did under Taliban rule.
By Doza (email Doza)
Trade Deadlines, Makin Headlines
-Finally one of my predictions came to fruition this week as Carmelo Anthony was finally dealt to the Knicks. It definitely makes them a tough out come playoff time, but ‘Melo could become the worm in Mike D’Antoni’s offense in the Big Apple. D’Antoni’s fast break rule that is tattooed to the inside of his eyelids is “shoot the ball within 7 seconds or less”. Mr. Melo-drama holds the ball for at least 7 seconds every time he touches the ball for an isolation. Plus, the also newly-acquired, Mr. Big Shot Billups, doesn’t necessarily like to push the ball since A) he’s 34, B) he’s a jump shooter. But this does push the Knicks to the front page of the Post and Daily News, and watching ‘Melo and Amar’e Stoudemire operate together will be downright video game-esque.
February 24 is the 55th day of 2011. There are 310 days until 2012.
Today in Obscure History: 1942, The Battle of Los Angeles. A UFO flying over LA 3 months after Pearl Harbor prompted air raid sirens and a blackout order. The military responded by firing 1,400 12 lb. anti-aircraft shells at the object until the “all clear” order had been given. When questioned on the incident, the Air Force claimed it was a case of “war nerves” likely triggered by a lost weather balloon. Must have been the same balloon that crashed at Roswell. And yes, this is what the crappy movie you've been seeing ads for is based on.
Today’s Birthday: 1985, Britney Stevens, Jewish Porn Star. Britney has starred in over 130 titles since getting in the industry back in 2006. Stevens had a career year in 2009 when she was nominated for “Best All-Girl Group Sex Scene” in 2 separate films, Flower’s Squirt Shower 5 and Squirt Gangbang 3. She was also nominated for "Best Double Penetration Sex Scene" in Oil Overload that same year. After battling back from a tough hip flexor injury in 2010, Britney should be ready to finally take home a coveted AVN award in 2011.
Today’s Death: 2006, Don Knotts, American comedic actor. Knotts was best known for his roles as Deputy Barney Fife on the Andy Griffith Show and Mr. Furley, the landlord who took over for the Ropers on Three’s Company.
Today’s Birthday of Someone You Thought Was Already Dead: 1921, Abe Vigoda, American actor. 90 years old today. Best known from the Godfather and now for being "that old guy who's always in commercials and movies and stuff".
Today’s Crazy News Story: Fla. Police: Dispute over Thin Mints gets physical Fun Fact of the Day: Rats reproduce so often that after 18 months 2 rats could have over a million descendants
Poll of the Day:
By Reece
I defy anyone not to laugh at this. I personally had to leave my cubicle and go to the bathroom to wipe tears out of my eyes. The part where the kid tries to fist the meal, and then the wine glass broke me down.
Enjoy!
By Sal Pimento (email Sal)
Boston (AP) - In a follow up report to boston.com’s complete waste of ad space and text about the new, hip yard-bombing scene that is springing up in lame neighborhoods all over the country, Mindwafers chose to dig a bit deeper into the real world of these quilted terrorists. The art of yarn bombing sounds simplistic: a group (some say gang) get together to sew and quilt large projects and they are hung and displayed around the city in order to either spruce up urban decay, improve city hygiene, or convey an artist's message.
By Reece (email Reece)
Time for another Q & A session with you, the loyal Mindwafers audience, for discussion amongst our bored at work peers. Among the three billion disagreements I have daily with my fiancé, we constantly debate the hotness among Hollywood leading ladies. One of the fiercest arguments we have is where we stand on the hotness of Emily Blunt. Now for me, Emily Blunt is Bluntastic…
By Seagull (e-mail Seagull)I have so many questions about this one… First of all, this dude was bleeding from the mouth and having difficulty swallowing for four years, and it took his doctors until just now to schedule an X-ray? Huh? What, do you need to be put on a waiting list to get an X-ray in China? I mean, I know there’s like a billion people in that country, but it’s not an MRI for Christ’s sake. Say what you want about the American health care system, but I’m pretty sure my doctor would have cracked the case on this one in a matter of hours. I get sent down the street for an X-ray for far lesser complaints.
March 2011 will mark the return of the most popular event in Mindwafers history - March Fatness! The tournament that pits 64 of your favorite foods in a single-elimination, winner take all tournament of goodness. But this year there is a twist....we're letting you pick who the competitors will be! Do you have passion about your favorite foods? Does it make you angry when someone doesn't understand why something you love so much is such a big deal? Well, now is your chance to show the world what we've been missing.
During last year's March Fatness, after many hard fought battles, our favorite foods advanced to the prestigious Flabby 4. From the Bar-B-Q region: the cheeseburger. Bar food: buffalo tenders. The Lazy Housewife/Take-Out division was dominated by pizza, while everyone's favorite snackfood turned out to be Doritos.
But just like a crappy M. Night Shyamalan movie, there's another twist! We're throwing the format out the window and changing the brackets completely. This year, we're going to put your favorite brands head to head, in order to see who dominates the cholesterol clogged world. Who ya got, Dominos or Pizza Hut? In and Out animal style or Friendly's grilled cheeseburger? Who ends up on top is up to you. The first step is determining who gets invited to the dance, and you are the selection committee!
So please, post as many comments as you can letting us know who you want to see in this tournament. The only rule is it has to be, at the very least, a regionally recognized brand such as Papa Gino's for you east coasters, or the aforementioned In and Out for you westsiders. So, in other words, Frank's Calzones and Shoe Repair isn't going to cut it. We're looking for stuff everyone knows.
So, without further adieu, here are the 4 brackets you'll be voting on:
Pizza
Burgers
Snack Food
Ice Cream
Sounds like a pretty good meal right? We thought so, too. That's why, when it's all said and done, we're going to throw a party full of the four foods that end up advancing to the Flabby 4. Then you'll vote in person for the 2011 champion of the world while getting drunk and stuffing your face. You know you love us - admit it.Alright get to voting, more updates and exciting suprises coming soon!
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